So, to make this happen, I'd like to ask for your birth stories! Help me to see through your eyes! If you would, please share in the comments. I'm looking for diversity here. I want as many different stories, of as many different types of birth, as I can possibly get. I want to be able to offer my clients information and support based not only on my experiences and studies, but on the experiences of real women (especially those that I personally know). If a mom gets into an unexpected situation and looks to me for comfort, I want to be able to say, "You know, I had a friend who went through this, and she and her baby were just fine, and it went great." If a client is making a choice I never would, and asks me my thoughts, I want to be able to say honestly, "I wouldn't choose it for myself, but I have a friend who did, and she was extremely happy with it." I truly, truly want to understand any and all choices, offer support to those who mourn a "negative" birth experiences, cheer on those who want to make different/better choices next time by becoming more educated, be happy for those who had a wonderful birth experience, and put my biases aside.
Here are some guidelines for your responses (so that I get an even survey of information):
- Your birth story(ies). What happened? Just the nitty gritty details of how, when, etc.
- How your birth experience(s) made you feel. What were your thoughts coming out of it? Was it positive or negative?
- Would you do it again? If so, what would you do the same, or what would you do differently? And why? What steps would you take/are you taking to make that happen?
- What is your birth philosophy, now that you've "been there, done that?" Does it affect how you view other women's birth stories or their views?
Also, if you have not had children and are wanting to, I want to hear from you, too! Here's some questions for you:
- What are your thoughts on the modern birth world? What questions do you have, what myths do you want debunked, how do you feel birth is presented to first-time-moms? Does the prospect of birth frighten you?
- What is your ideal future birth experience, and why? Do you have a birth philosophy?
- What do you intend to do to make your wishes a reality?
- What kind of stories and advice do you want to hear from medical experts and other moms? What do you not want to hear? What helps, and what doesn't? And what can we do to help?
I have had 3 babies. The first, was a normal pregnancy with a natural vaginal birth at a hospital. All went well and I went home 3 days later with a bouncy baby girl.
ReplyDeleteSecond was a little more exciting. Baby #2 was a "Florida Baby" according to my Dr, "she was looking for the sunshine." Looking up instead of down, I didn't realize this until it was over and there weren't any complications. If I could change anything about this birth I would elect not to have the shot of meds that was suppose to take the edge off. I do not really recall the meds helping with the pain, but rather making me extremely tired.
My third birth, was a C-section, because of the size baby was predicted to be. If I could rewind time I would not have opted for the C-section. My son ended up not being much bigger then his sister who was looking up. Plus he had fluid on his lungs after birth and from what I have read, being pushed through the birth canal helps prevent this problem.
Thank you so much for the reply!! :-)
DeleteI'm the mother of two beautiful daughters and my labors were fairly different. When I became pregnant with Aubrey, my almost 3-year-old, I was completely uneducated about pregnancy, labor, birth, the whole shebang. I knew that pregnancy was something that most women went through and it was natural, but other than that, I really had no clue what was going on, what was going to happen, etc. For the most part, I took my doctor's word on everything. Luckily, I have a fairly open-minded OB who let me be involved in most of the "choices" that came about throughout the pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteI knew from the start that I did not want any type of pain medication during my labor. I figured that women had been giving birth without interference for centuries now and if my mom had given birth without pain meds, so could I. Beyond that, I had no birth plan, no idea how labor would go, no idea what to really expect.
About ten days before my actual due date, I went in for my normal appointment and I was already 4.5 cm dilated. My doctor said that if I wanted, I could come back in the morning and he would induce me. I declined, not because I had any problem with being induced, but because there was still a ton of stuff to finish at the house before the baby arrived and I felt I just wasn't ready to bring an infant home yet.
So I left with another appointment set up for a week later and a fairly confident promise from my OB that he'd see me sooner. A week later I was back in the office, my house was finished, and I was begging my OB to get this baby out of me ASAP. He scheduled me to come in at 6 the next morning. I arrived the next morning, excited and probably a little nervous. I was heading into the great unknown. By 6:30, the pitocin was running strong and I was hooked up to sixteen bajillion monitors. By 8:00, my OB had come in and broken my water and because there was some greenish stuff in the fluid, which indicated that the baby had had a bowel movement or something like that, there was a slight sense of concern and from that moment, I was in the hospital bed, laying flat on my back, still hooked up to the monitor and left to labor "in peace." Again, I had no idea that this wasn't the normal in how to labor. I figured the doctors and nurses knew what they were doing and even though I had heard about being able to get up and walk around, that did not seem to be an option for me and I wasn't really feeling up to walking around anyway.
The next four hours I spent in a meditative state. (My mother and I are both licensed massage therapists and through that education, I had learned a lot about pain, about muscle relaxation, about breathing, etc.) My mother, who was acting as my stand-in doula (even though she hasn't had the specific training yet) instead of massaging me through labor, simply stood at the head of my bed with me and talked me through my contractions. She watched the monitors and told me when the waves were coming, when they crested, when I was getting a break. And I laid there and focused on my breathing, on letting the pain just wash over me and then letting it go. The nurses offered an epidural, more than once, and I pretty much ignored them because I was so focused on what was going on with my body.
Around 1:00, I asked my mom to find a nurse and told her I was ready to push. She checked my cervix, said I was only 9.5 cm dilated and she'd come check on me in half an hour. Not ten minutes later, I looked at my mom and told her to get the nurse back in her NOW because I was going to be pushing here any second whether I was trying to or not. After taking her sweet time, the nurse came back in with a resigned look on her face, checked my cervix again and then popped up with an "Oh! You're ready to go! Let me go get the doctor."
I gave vaginal birth to a healthy baby girl at 1:44pm. I'd only been in real labor for about seven hours.
(continued from above)
ReplyDeleteMy second labor was shorter, but much more difficult. While I was pregnant with my second daughter, I took a certification class in prenatal massage. While the class focused on massage, we also got a lot of information on the specific muscles involved with childbirth, on how the body is naturally built and inclined to give birth, etc. My outlook on childbirth completely changed and I realized that there are many different ways and options when it comes to bringing a child into this world. (I was already halfway through my pregnancy by this point and had been seeing my same OB through it all, so I decided to just stick it out. This pregnancy was much harder because I had been in a car accident at 6 weeks and was in a lot of pain due to a back injury.)
Due to my new found education, I knew that I would not be induced again. There was no medical research that I could find that demonstrated that induction was necessary and plenty of research that showed that induction could be detrimental. And so I simply waited for my body to do its thing. My water broke at 7am three weeks before my due date. My mother immediately loaded me into the car and drove me to the hospital. (My husband met us there soon after.) Once there, I was again hooked up to a bunch of monitors and slapped down in a hospital bed. I did not want pitocin administered, but after checking my cervix, the nurses said I wasn't "progressing quickly enough" (wait, what?) and administered it anyway.
As the contractions came on faster and harder, I tried desperately to find that meditative state I'd used during my first labor. I couldn't get there. I hadn't been able to lay comfortably, especially on my back, throughout my pregnancy because of my accident and now I was being forced to lay on my back. I wasn't allowed to get up because I might disturb the monitors. I couldn't sit up, I couldn't walk, I couldn't do anything but lay there on my back and suffer.
After about 3, 3.5 hours, I was in tears because I hurt so badly, I was still only at 7 cm (where I had been for the last 3 hours) and I did not want to get an epidural. My mom encouraged me to just talk to a nurse about it and so finally I did. (She was not the nurse who had administered the pitocin earlier.) She was very patient, answered all my questions and after a long debate with myself and after asking my mom if this decision made me weak, I decided to get an epidural because I couldn't take the pain anymore.
Less than an hour after receiving the epidural, my second daughter was born. Because I wasn't so focused on the pain that was non-labor-related, I relaxed and let nature take over and my body was finally able to do what I'd unconsciously been fighting allowing it to do.
Sorry--I know that was a bit long-winded.
I do not plan on having another hospital birth. My OB is great, but the labor and birthing staff does not always fall in line with what my OB does. They take over and trust that you're going to trust their word as law. Knowing now what I do, I don't want that again. I felt positive about my first labor--until I realized that had things been different, I could have caused myself and my baby a lot of trouble by being induced. That I was able to meditate through my labor--I'm still very proud about that. But that was me, more than the hospital. My second labor? I feel very negative about my second labor. I felt like I had no control and then was forced to get an epidural--something I never wanted to do--because I wasn't allowed any other options of trying to deal with the pain.
ReplyDeleteI plan on using a birthing center when God blesses me with a third pregnancy. I am thinking that I will most likely try to have a water birth at the birthing center. I want the freedom of being the first one to hold my baby, I want my family to be allowed to be in the room (rather than only 2 adults, max), I want my daughters to be able to see and hold their baby sibling immediately. I want the warm, loving support of those closest to me, rather than being surrounded by strangers in a cold, sterile environment where my say only means something up and until it doesn't fit with the hospital's idea of what's right and okay.
I would just like to say, finally, that I am so glad that my sister, Clara, shared this and that you feel the way you do about pregnancy, labor and birth. It's nice to know that there are others out there who preach education, because that it what I do. I am also planning on going through doula training once my girls are a little older and I understand the struggle of having to understand and respect all women's choices, even if they go against what we believe is "right." I tell my friends all the time, educate yourselves about the decisions you're making!! If you want an epidural, that's great, I'm supportive, but know the risks ahead of time, know the pros and cons. Don't just get one because everybody and their mother's sister's aunt says it's the thing to do. Make your own decisions and be informed about them!! Thank you so much for this blog, Erin, I'll be following it regularly.
Thank you so much for such a detailed reply!! This is exactly the sort of thing I'm looking for: experiencing 2 different types of birth, deciding what does and doesn't work for you, and making a choice that best suits you and your wishes for any future births! It's great to hear from someone who is coming from the same place I am. I'm glad you want to follow, and I'd be thrilled to see any more comments you might have! :-D
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